either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
