I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
