the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
