I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
