yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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