So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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