she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
