First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
