Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
