New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just cropdusted the office
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
