Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
