wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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