summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
