he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
