Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
