just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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