I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
