a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
