so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
