Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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