I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
