Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize