is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
