I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
