I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
