try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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