Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I didn't notice because vodka
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
