I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
