Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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