I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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