wanna go halves on a baby?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
