No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it hurts more in the daytime
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
