I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
