The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
