There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
