I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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