I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
