Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
