What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
look no pants
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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