I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i out mim tonsoeep
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