Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
