So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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