OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
