Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my poor anus
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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