i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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