I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
