do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
