every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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