make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
