I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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