Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
