She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize