I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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