My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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