come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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