careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
