i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize