they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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