well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
