There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
