used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize