His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize