It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
