I am puke
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He? As in you personified your dick?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
