hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
