Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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