So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
