i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it glows. i had to have it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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