bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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