Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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