mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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