we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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